Bernanke's Gold

"What's this?"

Bernanke had been wandering around the basement of the Federal Reserve.  He was carrying an oil lamp and he was wearing a cloak.

"Could it be?"

He had found a map of the basement in a vault upstairs in his office which showed the building for the labyrinth that it is.  The map should that below the building were thousands of corridors leading to more corridors where many treasures were to be found.

One room had Geronimo's skull, which had been housed in the Tomb on Yale's campus, but apparently was  safely stored below DC.  Another room had one of Lincoln's top hats along with a bullet in a glass jar with "That's for screwing my wife, Jack" written on a piece of tape on the side of the jar.  The latest room Bernanke had crept into was dusty and had what looked like an alchemists cauldron.  In the cauldron was a stack of papers.  Each paper said, "United States Treasury:  Certificate of Gold".

"I found them!  I found the gold certificates!"

Bernanke was excited and scampered up the steps.  He knew just what to do with all of his new found paper gold.

"Now I can lease them and releverage the Fiat Ponzi!  Oh the Masters will be so pleased with all of the liquidity that I will provide!  Yippee!!!"

Saving Greece, Again

Tomorrow, a long awaited event (background music by John Williams). 

From the makers of Saving Greece, and Saving Greece Two, comes the epic story of our lifetime (theatrical pause).....

Saving Greece, Again

Starrying Academy Award Nominee, Angela Merkle and Academy Award Winner Nicolas Sarkozy; from famed Direct Herman Van Rompuy:  a tale of a country that was thought once doomed to fail.

"I love you Greece"  yells Angela, drenched from a rainstorm, pointing a gun at her head.
"Angela, no!"  Nicolas grabs the gun and pushes it to her side.  "Save Greece to save yourself."

Coming to theatres tomorrow.

Occupy Mainstreet

Occupy Mainstreet

A hooded figure steps out in front of an assembly of men.  Some of the audience appear lizard like, others are much more human.  The hooded figure steps in front of a podium.  We see his beady eyes and large nose.  A wisp of silver hair shows above his eyes.

Today I welcome all delegates from their respective worlds.  To my left we have the shiny headed Blankfein [shot of Blankfein smiling and drooling], and to my right we have John Mack who has helped build our empire from the ground up [crowd applause].

I would like to start by saying our plan is near complete.  We have brainwashed much of Earth into trying to act cool, and not care.  Their minds and hearts have been dulled, which has allowed us to make it to where we are today.  Soon, very soon, we will have our New World Order, where our Banking Houses have total control of the money supply and wealth distribution [crowd cheers, the speaker waves for silence].  Soon, victory will be ours [the crowd begins to cheer again].  Soon, our New World Order will be complete!